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Tuesday, September 29, 2009

i think i've found the reasons why people don't like me, cs i'm a total bitch and i only think of myself. it's really stupid because i really mean it to ended this way, and that i have so strong about how i felt i really didnt see what was happening to the other person.
i am a fucken bitch. i really do not deserve everything and that's y i can never keep friendships widout fights. it's also y people ignore me for no fucken reason.

should i be angry? should i be sad? should pretend nothing happened? i try so fucken hard to keep this friendship and you jus totally killed it. just because you're having a fucken bad day, does not mean everything is blamed on me?

Sunday, September 27, 2009

today for me was one of those days where you wish you were never 15. i woke up this morning, and i felt fat. seriously, i gain weight, and it's not funny. anyways, after that, i went blacktown to go shopping. gosh maybe cs i wasnt in the mood, i didnt find anything except buying gelz' present which i really wanted as well. after that, i got home and mum raged at me. she's been going to this doctor for like a wk now, and she's been going through a lot of stress. But seriously, SHE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE. she goes to me and start like picking out all my mistakes and stuff.

not only that, after dinner, my dad had a go at me as well. Saying things like, i hate it when you do this, and i hate it when you do that... seriously, they're not the only ones going through stress. at least they dont have to go through puberty again. but yea, really not in the mood.

Friday, September 25, 2009

:) so happy no more exams.
but hopefully i did good in all my subjects. everyone did so good in their maths test!! especially sarah:) i'm so proud of her, but at the same time very scared taht i'll do shit.. cs i really want to get over 90..

anyways, i'l blog later, need to do food tech.

Friday, September 18, 2009

(i just realise that this blog only make sense to me, and Jess probably<3 )

today was one of most tiring-est day i ever had since the promise i made to myself. once again, i failed to do what i intended to do and for that reason, i am angry, disgusted and hate. i hate myself for what i thought today because i just really had enough, like i said before.

i don't understand why but all i noe is that i want to stop feeling like that. Therefore i have once again promised myself to give everyone space and just stop, and relax. From now on, worry is no longer in my dictionary (hahaha once again my vocab list is down one word). And after this blog, i will study until yearlies end (duh). Maybe after yearlies, I'll have more free time:)


this blog is for suling:)
i hope you feel better now!!! remember i'm always there for you, anyways, if anything like that ever comes up again.. talk to me because i'm always happy to hear what you have to say.
i love you <3

Thursday, September 17, 2009

three things im thinking about right now:

  • getting in the mood for yearlys!!!.. not:(
  • might go library but depends if janine's going (gotta conform that)
  • in need to study, and setting a goal to beat certain people:)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

oh gosh my eyes hurt:( omg i'm like sick cs i drank stupid ankita's water on friday!! so tired..

Friday, September 11, 2009

it's weird how sometimes if you see something from a different point of view everything seems to be different from what it is and sometimes it's actually a good thing. yesterday i was on the fone wid one of my really really good friends and they said something that made me realise i'm not the only one with problems. and it made me feel really really stupid. it made me feel... so small.

i'm sorry. i really am sorry.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

it's so stupid sometimes when someone get pissed off at you and you dont even noe what you did, that's why you give up trying to help them, trying to be that friend who will always be there for them because it's useless when they don't care.
that's why i've made my decision and shutting myself out. maybe it'll be a better day without me in their life because this seems to be all my fault.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

rainy days. i jus hate it. it brings back so many shitty memories. i wish there was a way to jus burn it and start over. MMMM just like a new book! i also wonder waht i'l be like without all the memories, friends and failures BUT moving on is my moral for everyday now. because every second, minute, hour, day will always be different. hopefully i've become a happier person:)

oh i would like to dedicate (i dont noe if that's the right word) this to adrian: adrian, i love you:) cs you cheered me up today and made me realise that you'll always be a really really good friend. oh can you bring your guitar tomorrow? lol i dont even noe if you're gonna read this today. OH AND I FOUND SOMETHING THAT I REALLY WANT TO DO THIS YEAR; i really really really really want to go see a shooting star, someone come and see it wid me. *cough* jess *cough*

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

when a guy says “i love you forever” he doesn’t mean it. bull fucking shit he means it. he just adds in the last word to make you feel like he’s somewhat serious. he’s actually saying “i love you, until i get bored and we break up.”